Appreciation is earned, even by yourself

Maybe I appreciate things more, because most things are things I've never had before.

Currently a contractor in part because I crave my freedom (another something missing from my childhood), I have no medical insurance. I know, I know, quelle horreur, such a shame that as an American who pays about 30% of my income in taxes each year I'm not covered under some sort of plan, at the very least for emergencies. I mean I have paid so much to the Social Security Administration that I will never get to see in my lifetime, and as a citizen who is proven to be a hard-working contributor to NY state and America, you'd think I would see some restitution. Ha!

However, this post is actually a happy one. Its to highlight that even as a paid contractor with no insurance, that when I contract a serious illness and need emergency services, I actually have the cash in my bank account, and even a little credit card just in case my cash flow is funny. This isn't about gloating, its about the sincere pride and gratitude I feel for having the ability to pay a $700 medical Bill at the time of my visit without a sweat.

I remember eating powdered milk as a child, scraping loose change up in my dorm as a Freshman, only able to find enough for a small McDonald's fry and hamburger, living in a hotel for 5 days at 20 years old a few weeks after my undergrad graduation. I visited my first dentist at 17, cocoa butter and aspirin fixed every ailment growing up, roach infested houses I slept with tissue in my ears and nose while living in.

I appreciate the hell out of all that I have now. I appreciate the brain G-d gave me and the spirit to never stop fighting.

Tonight and forever I am grateful