Everyday in life you make choices, some subtle and some stark. With every choice comes along a consequence, a result. Even when you highlight the possible outcomes and convince yourself you are at ease with them, once they actually do arrive the taste may actually be bitterer than you can withstand.
I make all of these big decisions and I convince myself its for the best at that moment, and I take measures to convince myself that all of the positives will outweigh the possible negatives…yet and still it’s not always that way.
For my foolish yet proud decisions, I take full blame. I realize its bad, but could be worse. I realize I got myself to that place, no encouragement needed. Moreover, I realize that it hurts.
I don’t believe its wrong to have pride, I think its quite admirable even. However, sometimes I can’t help but feel like my pride is being thrown back in my face, like I’m being punished for it. I think the concept of being both humble and proud has been construed as an idea of fiction, when it can actually be a reality with the right amount of balance.
I believe balance should live in everything that you do, and every part of you. I’m smart yet dense, Guarded yet vulnerable, good girl yet bad bitch, so of course I strive to have humility in all things I’m proud of. Is there such a thing of being too proud though? When there’s no one else there to say a “congrats”, “I’m proud of you”, “I’m happy for you” is it not okay to fill in for their absence? And if you do end up with too much pride, do your subsequent choices deliver the dose of humility much needed?
