True Story- I can't get a single man to be friends with me.
I meet girls all the time. They come up to me, shower me with compliments, offer me free drinks, just genuinely put it out there that they're interested in being friends; I am the same way. I make at least 1 new friend every other month, that I invite out with me and my other friends because I dig her personality, style, vibe. Its not sexual, out of jealousy, or anything other than pure desire to make a new friend. Whenever I attempt to do the same with a man, its automatically awkward..because he takes it there. To that little place that should be in the recesses of his mind, but are instead at the very forefront screaming "she wants to sex you"!!!
Oh and by friends I mean neither of us has constant thoughts of doing dirty unmentionable deeds to the other , and just have the same camaraderie as I do with my friends of the female persuasion. We go to exhibits, movies, lunch, just hang out.
A couple of months ago I came across such a guy...I was intrigued by his completely transparent self-absorbent behavior, as well as his penchant for contrasting hobbies. Hunting & poetry, wine & foreign languages, art & sports car racing, his wildly different interests mimicked my own untamed desires for things that lack correlation. I thought to myself "what if his egotism was just a sign of insecurity? I can't fault people for feeling insecure."
So, we began what I would call the dance of the opposite gender friendship. Where man & woman have obvious chemistry in several areas, but are not immediately drawn to the idea of simply pouncing on the other. Sort of like a slow simmer to whatever kind of relationship you are to have, until it either boils over or the little sauce that was simmering dries up. We simmered along quite nicely for a couple of months, and 1 day I put the question out there "when are we going to hang out?" Simple enough question for someone whom you share personal stories with semi-regularly, and wish to continue to in a more relaxed setting.
His response was instant, "next week!" he declared, as he proposed 2 possible events we could attend. I was happy that we appeared to be on the same page, and to finally chat even more openly than we had been doing thus far.
Fast forward to the day of, and I get a text message (not a call) 1.5 hours before our time to meet-up that something happened to his car, and he's sorry for the last minute message. Dissapointed, but empathetic, I text him my regards and brush it off. 2 days later I text him just saying hi, and hope all is moving along with his ordeal- no reply. The next day I see him and he says absolutely nothing to me, not even hello! I instant message him with the message "hi, how's it going? *awkward pause*" - I never got a reply.
What the fuck? What happened that now you are terrified to even tell me you're busy or not interested in being cool? I'm offended, disappointed, and just hurt. I don't understand this sort of passive behavior. I really just wanted to maybe be friends; at the least learn more about the potentially beautiful mind you may or may not have. But it doesn't matter about your mind, especially not when your heart is rotten.
Oh and by friends I mean neither of us has constant thoughts of doing dirty unmentionable deeds to the other , and just have the same camaraderie as I do with my friends of the female persuasion. We go to exhibits, movies, lunch, just hang out.
A couple of months ago I came across such a guy...I was intrigued by his completely transparent self-absorbent behavior, as well as his penchant for contrasting hobbies. Hunting & poetry, wine & foreign languages, art & sports car racing, his wildly different interests mimicked my own untamed desires for things that lack correlation. I thought to myself "what if his egotism was just a sign of insecurity? I can't fault people for feeling insecure."
So, we began what I would call the dance of the opposite gender friendship. Where man & woman have obvious chemistry in several areas, but are not immediately drawn to the idea of simply pouncing on the other. Sort of like a slow simmer to whatever kind of relationship you are to have, until it either boils over or the little sauce that was simmering dries up. We simmered along quite nicely for a couple of months, and 1 day I put the question out there "when are we going to hang out?" Simple enough question for someone whom you share personal stories with semi-regularly, and wish to continue to in a more relaxed setting.
His response was instant, "next week!" he declared, as he proposed 2 possible events we could attend. I was happy that we appeared to be on the same page, and to finally chat even more openly than we had been doing thus far.
Fast forward to the day of, and I get a text message (not a call) 1.5 hours before our time to meet-up that something happened to his car, and he's sorry for the last minute message. Dissapointed, but empathetic, I text him my regards and brush it off. 2 days later I text him just saying hi, and hope all is moving along with his ordeal- no reply. The next day I see him and he says absolutely nothing to me, not even hello! I instant message him with the message "hi, how's it going? *awkward pause*" - I never got a reply.
What the fuck? What happened that now you are terrified to even tell me you're busy or not interested in being cool? I'm offended, disappointed, and just hurt. I don't understand this sort of passive behavior. I really just wanted to maybe be friends; at the least learn more about the potentially beautiful mind you may or may not have. But it doesn't matter about your mind, especially not when your heart is rotten.
This is what I mean...sigh... would I be this upset if a female behaved this way? Yes and no. Yes, offended because she put on the show of wanting to hang out. No, because she's a girl and ultimately I don't care whether or not she thinks I'm attractive enough to even be friends with.
I was watching a dating show the other day where the high priestess of dating told a female client of hers that she had "masculine energy" and that turns men away from her. This sentiment made me think that maybe this afflicts me as well. Men simply stare at me, rarely speaking their minds. When I actually do finally get around to having a guy friend, they eventually tell me that they find me "scary, or intimidating". This not only upsets me, but it hurts. What exactly is feminine energy? Should I slink around purring in every man's direction just to get him to not take the defensive position towards me?
I just want to be friends!!!
ps...I got a im from jerkboy the next day, that was timestamped from actual day I sent him the original message. So apparently he did message back, but this doesn't change the fact he didn't text back, or say hello.
1 comments:
It must be so hard to be young and beautiful :). I say enjoy the pursuit while you can.
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