I'm a mid-twenties single woman, thus I must be gay

You read it correctly, apparently I missed the memo that if you are a single female in your mid-twenties then perhaps you are a lesbian.

Several people have inquired about my sexual orientation over the years, to which I brushed off as ignorance of not only individuality, but of who I really am as a person. Recently though, a person whom I thought knew me fairly well asked a question that I still do not take as a joke "Do you have a girlfriend....a boyfriend?" Seriously? Did we not make out like lovebirds for more than 7 hours dancing dirty enough to put "Baby" back in the damn corner? Have our correspondences over the past year not been frequent, flirty, and frank? Why would you ask me something so profoundly asinine?

I'm not offended by the lesbian label, as there are some fantastic lesbians in our society, mostly due in part to their character and less to do with who they roll in the sheets with. I'm offended because you have decided that because I choose to be a lady of decorum, a baroness of self-respect, an empress of elegance, I must be gay. I mean who wouldn't want to sex every single man that looks their way? Why would I not want to dance on every disco stick that I meet?

Where in the hell have we gone as a society that not being promiscuous or pathetic enough to be in a relationship you don't enjoy, puts you in the "outcast" category of being a lesbian? Both the women's revolution and the sexual revolution were not about women becoming abject sluts who intern themselves in dead-end, joyless relationships. The word revolution itself speaks to freedom; freedom to choose, to not choose, to simply be.

My freedom is in abundance when it comes to what I choose to do with my lovelife. I am a bigger romantic than most Hollywood film directors could ever create, I know more about real connections, bonds, love, passion, its an art that I have taken a keen interest in for sometime. Therefore, I know what I want..most importantly I know what I don't want. I'm not really a seat-filler girl, I'm not going to use someone until I find someone I actually have a spark with.

A cold side of the bed is nothing compared to the feeling of repressed resentment, boredom, and unrequited lust or love if you like. I awake each day with a open & free heart. I go out and live my life not placing its fulfillment on whether or not I possess a +1. I go on dates (lots) sometimes with guys who I don't even think are attractive, all to challenge myself, make sure I am still being open-minded to the possibilities of what attraction is, or can be.

I'm not only fine, but pretty proud of the woman I am. I even embrace my imperfections as I do what I can to convert those puzzles into a state of resolved. I advise you to do the same, and leave the part about who I sex and how often to each her own.