Shape of Things

I've come to realize that I am without shape. I'm something akin to that lime green slime that Nickelodeon uses in every kid show. Even when I am in a jam or stuffed into a specific box, I somehow manage to seep out the sides or over the top just a tad. It seems as though being shapeless means that I also lack the ability to be contained.

I'm trying to look at myself and make a constructive argument for both sides...on the one hand I can be seen as a free spirit. I roam wherever, whenever I feel like it, not stopping to think about the conventional things in life such as a job, friends, etc... Those things to me are attainable anywhere.

On the other hand I can be seen as restless, fleeting, even lacking stability. I move more than men in the Army do, I dump people I don't see contributing to my happiness without a second thought, or for that matter I dump ANYTHING I don't view as a contribution to my personal happiness. I'm certainly not normal, whatever that really means.

I feel like the older I get, the more life chips away at my innocence, I lose more of my free spirit. I still haven't lived in a foreign country, I'm not fluent in any 1 foreign language (just suck at a few), I'm slacking on writing my biography because I'm too busy living it, I haven't finished my family tree, haven't gone ATV riding, bungee jumping, or sunbathed nude!!!

I'm kind of tired of the hard life....Its not that I only want to have fun (but of course I can't give all of that up) I just want to have more silk in my life, more satin. I want a little more congruency. I want sunshine, rainbows, laughter, warmth....

Maybe what I want is shape....but what shape would I be? Is an anomaly a shape? Can I be misshapen? This is harder than I thought........