7/30/03

No matter how hard I work, no matter how honest I am, no matter how hard I try, I still feel like Girl X. A woman without a face, a face without a name, a name without true meaning. If I died tomorrow to return to my home, what would people say? What people would there be to speak of my miserable existence? No mother,father,or grandmother so would it really be worth mentioning? I'm sure the tombstone would read something like " Here Lies the Modern Day Clytemnestra, May She Burn in Hell", and that's only if my body was saved from the flames of cremation. I don't know why my suffering is so eternal, its like my soul was punished before life was even breathed into my lungs. It's as if Lucifer has a friend at every place I need to be. All of my successes are failures. Despite 85 degree sweltering heat, it rains everyday for me.