1/25/06

I've always loved music, more than water and air at times. I've always LOVED the piano and longed to play it, even still today. Growing up in a very repressed "home" I wasn't allowed to partake in the things that bought happiness to my soul. To make a very long story very short, I sometimes wish that I could be granted a whole new life from the moment of conception. There are so many things that I find no familiarity with that my peers speak of fondly from our childhoods. Although I'm all about not living in the past, I sometimes can't help but wonder what life may have been if...... I was welcomed into this world with warmth and love, I was able to snuggle up to my father for security, I was given positive reinforcements for a job well done; and chided with love when I misbehaved. If someone had held my hand when things were hard, taught me to ride a bike, skate, or embraced my love for school. If my mother had actually been receptive to the life which she bore into this world, would my life be any different?
At my old age, I only think of these things when reminded by a outside influence such as tv, friend's relationships with their families, or in this case music. Thanks to modern technology, I finally found out the name and author of one of my favorite songs of all time. I don't know why I love it so much because it pierces my soul to hear it... When I hear this song it makes me think this will always be the song of my life, the one that's played at my funeral. The crazy thing is, the context in which it was written doesn't even apply to me. In the song the man speaks of his love for a woman that he's done wrong. Its a humble apology/explanation of his actions towards her. When I hear it, its only a reminder of the emptiness that created me. Its a sullen reminder of the broken heart I was born with. I still love it though; so thank you Donny Hathaway for "A Song For You".