11/20/03

really, who gives a fuck? I've been bogged down with the brutalities of my life as usual. I'm beginning to hate the people i'm surrounded by. Some people bitch, whine, and complain when they have everything to be grateful for. These pathetic, dependent, helpless, lazy fools, are always needing to be patted on the head, hugged, coddled, and just plain babied, and it makes me sick to my stomach. Might I add that of course these people are older than me as usual. I can't help but wish that some real tragedy would be inflicted upon these people, so they can realize what suffering is. Meanwhile, due to the lack of funds because of my involuntary leave of absence, I have added a sizable staple of cheez-its to my diet, to supplement my constant hunger. I feel like i've gained weight (btw I gain 3-5 lbs every winter and loose the same every spring), but my clothes don't tell the same story. I was watching this thing on models the other day, and Giselle is 5'10 127, so being that i'm 5'10 135 I must not be all that heavy. I'm longing for change of environment more and more each day. I need to be around real people. It doesn't look like 22 is going to be any different from 21. One half good thing that did happen was, an interview at Paramount Studios. I initially interviewed for a paid intern but, the guy was so impressed with me he suggested that I interview for a Junior Research Analyst position!!! So, I had a second interview with the SR. VP of research at Paramount, and she loved me as well. She wants me to take part in the Graduate Intern program (10.00 hr) , and then become a jr. analyst. she gave me the story of how she went from undergrad intern to working her way up the ladder. I also had a short-term bug-a-boo, who called me everyday, all-day and annoyed the shit out of me. Hopefully that will end soon. Oh and I still hate L.A.